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How to Love Enneagram Type 5

Updated: Feb 18

We hope all of you lovely readers had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

As this holiday centers around showing love to others, we are enjoying sharing tips and insight into how to love each type the way they most need to be loved. This week we are focusing on enneagram type fives, and how to love them best.

Fives perceive the world through the mind. They are very logical and systematic thinkers. This makes them excellent problem solvers and extremely self-dependent and capable. They like to know all the facts, learn as much as they can about a given topic, and take their time in this research process before they ever discuss it with you.

Enneagram type fives are also in the withdrawn stance. This means, they go inward and withdraw to get their needs met. It might look like retreating to a "safe space," to understand how they feel about something, or gather more information. Withdrawing is not always external, and can be done in a "zoning out" sort of pattern. When there is too much going on (noise, stimuli, overload of feelings or thoughts) type fives often preserve energy by "spacing off," or zoning out, so they will be able to function later on.

How can we love these thinkers best?

1.Give them space when they need it

Fives have the least amount of energy of all the types on the enneagram, so saving energy is a real thing for them. It's not about you.

Allow them time and space to rest and recharge.

Plan in an agreed upon time every day that is just for them to be away from people.

Don't push them, or drag them along on all of your adventures without considering this need.

Let them take a separate car to functions if you're the kind of person who likes to stay late.

Don't invade their privacy. They will let you know if something is important.

2.Be a safe and comfortable space for them

Though fives are private and withdrawn, they need a familiar place and person to share themselves with. They long to be known just like everyone else, but have a hard time opening up to many.

Prove that you are reliable, dependable, and trustworthy.

Show up on time.

Follow through with your promises.

Keep their secrets.

3.Get on board the Learning Train!

Fives love to learn, research, and find out about... stuff. If you can show interest in what they are passionate about this will surely deepen your connection.

Ask them questions about a topic they love.

Listen actively to their explanations.

Bonus: plan something for the two of your to do together that is centered around this special topic or passion. This will prove to be extremely meaningful to enneagram type five, as well as reach their repressed "action center of intelligence." Fives need other people to pull them out of their shells a little bit and get them out doing things!

We truly hope these tips will help you improve your relationships and make an enneagram type five feel loved!

Thank you for reading!

Remember to take a look at our one of a kind Self Care Guide!

This is a unique way to begin practicing the kind of self care that is right for your enneagram type.

It's also a great way to do a retreat at home.

In the guide we include a weekend itinerary made up for you, so all you have to do is relax and follow the guide!

Check it out here:

Need a real getaway?

Escape to beautiful North Idaho with us! We have crafted a retreat weekend just for you- full of wellness and enneagram teaching!

We know you will love it!

Check it out here:

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