Sound familiar? Enneagram Type one.
As a type one, I am often stuck in that perfectionism mode. I want things to be done the "right" way. I absolutely abhor doing things a second time. And more often than not, I would just rather do it myself. Probably because of the first things I mentioned. I never miss a workout. When I do, I feel guilty about it all day, so it's best that I just get it done and out of the way. I really do like to get things done and more often than not feel better when I can check the things off that I am doing. (Because, if I don't, know one really know if anything was done). For instance, on the days that I clean the bathroom, I'll ask my husband if he noticed. He usually responds with, "No, sorry honey. They just always seem clean". It's a bittersweet answer, but completely honest. I like things to be clean, orderly and neat. That's just me.
However, when I am growing, I tend to let things go. I climb into my adventurous side and am ready to "take on the world"! I will opt to miss a day of working out to explore nature or go on a drive somewhere new. I love this side of me because it is really fun, and I get to see what its like to be that person everyone likes (AKA - my husband). It's especially great for my kids, because I step out my "everything-must-be-healthy" shell and take them out to ice cream or let them have french fries. It really is great to be in growth.
When I'm in stress, unfortunately, I'm an intensely dramatic control freak. I believe that the rules that I've created, mostly in my own head, are the end all. If one negative thing happens, it quickly (almost magically) becomes a million things. The worst part is its hard to get out of that 'dramatic hold'. Usually it takes time, which I must have patience to conquer.
The great thing is, because I know my number, I understand my triggers and my motivations. I rarely find myself in the stress-zone, because I see it coming. This awareness has helped my relationships with those around me, especially my spouse and kiddos. Most importantly, it has helped me. I, daily, see how living in growth is ideal, but it's okay to have a hard day and give myself grace, too. I am a human being, type one, on the journey to discovering my true self.